Love, etc.

Loving, and Losing

[12/5/12]

I think I can now say, in the words of Drake and Rihanna:

"I've loved and I've lost."

If anything, I've learned recently that it's one thing to comfort your friends and family, helping them deal with a break-up. And it's another thing undergoing one yourself.

Is anyone else here the "advice-giver" type? Yup, that's me.

I've just gotten out of a relationship that barely lasted long enough to be upset about it. But what I've come to realize is that it doesn't really depend on the duration of the relationship, but rather the connection you built between the two of you. Guys and girls, guys and guys, girls and girls...

It's all the same.

Unless that person has truly done something to hurt you (cheating, domestic violence...namecalling?), rage is something that should probably be avoided. It takes way too much energy to be angry at someone, whether it is with or without reason. And when you're that angry, you tend to act irrationally.

For one don't feel it's necessary to rip up or delete all photos of the two of you. Yes, they're hard or frustrating to look at, but those are memories you'll thank yourself later on for never getting rid of. For instance, what I've done is hidden all "scandalous" photos that I'd posted on Facebook with my significant other so that only I can see them (and he can, too, so long as he is tagged). That way, I will always have them, and they'll also be hidden out of respect for anyone else I've met (or may meet) in the future. As for those saved on my computer?

Placed those bad boys in a new folder, separate from all the others.

This goes along with continuing on with your daily routine, meeting new people, and doing those activities you love most to focus your mind off of the break-up. Yes, it all seems like common-sense, BUT a lot of people don't abide by that.

They sit around and mope. Cry their eyes out. Hate the world.

I'm simply saying this because I've had the experience, so this is coming firsthand now...not just out of a book, song lyric, or movie line...

But "I'm just saying, you can do better."

Being single is not the end of the world. You have yet to meet all of the wonderful people that inhabit this planet, your country, state, city, county, school, neighborhood, street...(well, you get the point--plenty of fish in the sea). It's a very hard process to go through, but that's why you have loving people surrounding you who would be more than happy to be there for you and help you out! (If not, I'm here. I'll talk to you! ^_^) 

Of course, there's always more to be said. Just thought I'd get that off my chest.

*And now, let us all take in a deep breath*

Have a nice day, all!

-Shay

Interracial Dating

[5/25/12]

Oh, the controversy.

Have you ever walked down the street and seen a man/woman holding the hands of someone outside of their race and been utterly shocked out of your mind???

Well, no...I haven't.

Interracial dating, even in our present day and age, poses and one of the most controversial fads that one can be a part of. To some, it is frowned down upon because in their eyes, it reflects a form of self-hatred. To others, it is a beautiful representation of how love has no color.

To me, I believe that no one, and I mean no one, should have a say in who it is you love or want to be with.

In commenting on this issue, I made a video in response to a guy on Youtube who claimed that black women who date outside of their race "bash black men" and "worship white men." Take a quick look at it (WARNING: It is kind of lengthy) :

Now, how could I post a video like this without receiving just a little hate? Why won't we take a look at some of the comments I received and you make your own judgement:

"SHES A SELF HATER"

"ur dirty sellout self-hating black whore who wants to be white bitch so bad!! dumb black hoe!! you killing dark skin black race and black sons just like slave masters wanted today!! white men just wants fucking you and give you ugly and 100 % white looking kids for white race white ppl are fucking the racist!! smh all these self-hating black ppl are fucking up look like fuckin slave!!"

"Well aren't you a dirty sellout"

"This woman is not in love with white men. She is in love with the white female. Look at the way she talks and her hand gestures. Also the way she wears her hair. She is in love with the white woman as the ideal woman. She mimics her in everyway. Its sad really."

"i dont see nothing wrong with her dating white men .she's ugly.she is not the most attractive black women i've ever seen.just real talk she's kind of ugly."

Like what you see here? Go to the video to check out more comments like these!

:D

...anyway, I have no preference in who I date: he can be black, white, yellow, purple green, blue...I DON'T CARE.  And at the time of this video, I had only been with one guy in my life (who happened to be Asian). Never dated a black guy?

Yeah, maybe because I'd only been with one person.

All in all, it's about time that people stop looking at race, ethnicity, skin tones, hair types, etc. when judging people and whom they choose to date. In the end, it's really none of your business who someone else is dating.

Want to stay within your race?  Go for it!

Want to date outside of it? Kudos to you!

Love is love is love, and it cannot be helped on the count of race.

My sister and her boyfriend of 7 years, husband of 2

-Shay